Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
