i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
So much rum. So many feels.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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