I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
