i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
