it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
