Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
