so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
