I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize