Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
