the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
lets start a swedish sibling band together
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Randomize
