Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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