some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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