I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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