He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize