Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
