I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
is that a dick in a sweater?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
