Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Randomize