you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
