We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
