Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
