I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize