he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize