Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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