There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
