Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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