it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
