so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
