i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
