can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
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And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
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