i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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