Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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