with your own penis?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
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