Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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