I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
