I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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