Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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