I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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