Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
two words...techno handjob
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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