he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
