Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize