Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
