I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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