your room smells of hookers.
And success
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
