I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
