I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Quick, to the slutcave!
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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