me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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