dude i'm inner monologue high
I skipped work to stalk him.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
