ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
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the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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