So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
