i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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