Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
