I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
