U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
