I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
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He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
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Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize