Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
