you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
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