don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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