Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
