There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
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Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
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why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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