i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
