would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Why is there bacon in the couch?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
