yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
