He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
