Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
