Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
