I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize